If you are just joining our story, feel free to start from the beginning, first blog post titled "The Beginning" on April 18, 2013.
Brian and I had almost made it! We were beyond excited to be getting married. We were less than a month away. There was finally light at the end of the tunnel. The countdown had begun! I look back over that last year and can't believe how much things changed in my life. I had no idea that Brian would ride in and swoop me up. I had no idea that one of my sweetest friends would be the love of my life. I had no idea that my forever would be with with a redneck from south Georgia! And I had no idea that I would make the decision to not kiss him until this wedding day. It's not something I thought about ahead of time, I knew I wanted to kiss Brian, very much. So that first time he leaned in, I would not have stopped him if he hadn't paused to ask me first. I really think that was God. I know I talked about it briefly before, but I think it's important to give this a little more attention. Keeping a relationship pure is one of hardest things to do. Not enough people want to talk about it. I think that's one of the biggest problems with us. We feel like we are the only ones who deal with things. We look at other relationships and compare what we see on the outside and figure no one else is struggling, or failing the way we are. But its time we speak up and support each other instead of judging each other. We may not all deal with the same things, but we ALL deal with things.
So how did Brian and I do it? It wasn't easy. I do think that not kissing played a big role. It helped minimize the passion that was caged up in us both. The passion was still there, but we didn't give it an outlet. Were we perfect in this? Absolutely not! Sex is big part of marriage and God created it. He wants us to enjoy each other, sex is not bad, I'm tired of it being a bad word. But when its outside of God's timing in marriage, it's sin. That's where we associate shame and sex. But sex within a marriage is Godly and Holy and good! So of course Brian and I talked about it and thought about it...a lot. We had to pull the reigns back from time to time, talking about it just makes it harder not to act on it. Maybe it was a little easier knowing that Brian would be mine, and there was an actual date he would be mine! Maybe it was the same for him. People would say to me, "Is it weird knowing that you're going to kiss Brian for the first time and have sex with him all on the same day?" Umm why would that be weird? That just made me excited!
I know too, for me, it was so important to protect our love. I know I use that word a lot. It's a big responsibility to protect each other. It's hard to fully understand that sometimes. I had made mistakes in my past and refused to allow those mistakes to affect my relationship with Brain. I also refused to make those same mistakes with Brian, if I had to fight with everything in me. I kept short accounts with God, I asked for forgiveness when I knew my thoughts were not pure. And I did not allow shame to define me. Shame will try and attach itself to you and become your identity. It's not even the failures that define you, but actual shame. You have to learn to recognize shame and refuse it.
2 Corinthians 5:21 "God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God."
Jesus came to take our sin, not just one time, not just the first time we sin, but every time. So that in Him we might become righteous! We have to give our sins over to Jesus, He's already paid for them, we don't have to carry them, that's good news! No matter what your struggle is, no matter what hidden sin you deal with, righteousness is only one surrender away. You are not the only one struggling with sin. You are not alone, or weaker than anyone else. You are strong and you can rise above the sin!
I had less than one month away from being in Brian's arms. I knew I could make it! The fact that I wouldn't see him again until the week before the wedding helped too! God was giving me Brian Wilson, a man that loved and adored me, but that loved God even more. I was honored, I was humbled. I remember being 17 and an evangelist pulled me out of a service to tell me about the man God had for me. He told me to pray for him because pressure was on him to compromise. He also confirmed that he would do great things. I prayed for my husband, for Brian, and God was faithful to hear my heart. He protected Brain, and kept him safe for me. God gave me a virgin.
So what about the title, peanut butter and jelly? Somewhere along the line, Brian came up with an analogy, he was peanut butter and I was jelly, and guess what we would be making on our wedding night? Only the best sandwich known to man kind!
Thank you for being such great readers! Brian and I love reliving and sharing all of this with every one of you. We love your feedback, please keep it coming! If you're enjoying the blog, please share it! And remember...YOU ARE WORTHY OF LOVE!
~Stacie
Click here to continue to the next blog post Here Comes the Rehearsal...
Brian and I had almost made it! We were beyond excited to be getting married. We were less than a month away. There was finally light at the end of the tunnel. The countdown had begun! I look back over that last year and can't believe how much things changed in my life. I had no idea that Brian would ride in and swoop me up. I had no idea that one of my sweetest friends would be the love of my life. I had no idea that my forever would be with with a redneck from south Georgia! And I had no idea that I would make the decision to not kiss him until this wedding day. It's not something I thought about ahead of time, I knew I wanted to kiss Brian, very much. So that first time he leaned in, I would not have stopped him if he hadn't paused to ask me first. I really think that was God. I know I talked about it briefly before, but I think it's important to give this a little more attention. Keeping a relationship pure is one of hardest things to do. Not enough people want to talk about it. I think that's one of the biggest problems with us. We feel like we are the only ones who deal with things. We look at other relationships and compare what we see on the outside and figure no one else is struggling, or failing the way we are. But its time we speak up and support each other instead of judging each other. We may not all deal with the same things, but we ALL deal with things.
So how did Brian and I do it? It wasn't easy. I do think that not kissing played a big role. It helped minimize the passion that was caged up in us both. The passion was still there, but we didn't give it an outlet. Were we perfect in this? Absolutely not! Sex is big part of marriage and God created it. He wants us to enjoy each other, sex is not bad, I'm tired of it being a bad word. But when its outside of God's timing in marriage, it's sin. That's where we associate shame and sex. But sex within a marriage is Godly and Holy and good! So of course Brian and I talked about it and thought about it...a lot. We had to pull the reigns back from time to time, talking about it just makes it harder not to act on it. Maybe it was a little easier knowing that Brian would be mine, and there was an actual date he would be mine! Maybe it was the same for him. People would say to me, "Is it weird knowing that you're going to kiss Brian for the first time and have sex with him all on the same day?" Umm why would that be weird? That just made me excited!
I know too, for me, it was so important to protect our love. I know I use that word a lot. It's a big responsibility to protect each other. It's hard to fully understand that sometimes. I had made mistakes in my past and refused to allow those mistakes to affect my relationship with Brain. I also refused to make those same mistakes with Brian, if I had to fight with everything in me. I kept short accounts with God, I asked for forgiveness when I knew my thoughts were not pure. And I did not allow shame to define me. Shame will try and attach itself to you and become your identity. It's not even the failures that define you, but actual shame. You have to learn to recognize shame and refuse it.
2 Corinthians 5:21 "God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God."
Jesus came to take our sin, not just one time, not just the first time we sin, but every time. So that in Him we might become righteous! We have to give our sins over to Jesus, He's already paid for them, we don't have to carry them, that's good news! No matter what your struggle is, no matter what hidden sin you deal with, righteousness is only one surrender away. You are not the only one struggling with sin. You are not alone, or weaker than anyone else. You are strong and you can rise above the sin!
I had less than one month away from being in Brian's arms. I knew I could make it! The fact that I wouldn't see him again until the week before the wedding helped too! God was giving me Brian Wilson, a man that loved and adored me, but that loved God even more. I was honored, I was humbled. I remember being 17 and an evangelist pulled me out of a service to tell me about the man God had for me. He told me to pray for him because pressure was on him to compromise. He also confirmed that he would do great things. I prayed for my husband, for Brian, and God was faithful to hear my heart. He protected Brain, and kept him safe for me. God gave me a virgin.
So what about the title, peanut butter and jelly? Somewhere along the line, Brian came up with an analogy, he was peanut butter and I was jelly, and guess what we would be making on our wedding night? Only the best sandwich known to man kind!
Thank you for being such great readers! Brian and I love reliving and sharing all of this with every one of you. We love your feedback, please keep it coming! If you're enjoying the blog, please share it! And remember...YOU ARE WORTHY OF LOVE!
~Stacie
Click here to continue to the next blog post Here Comes the Rehearsal...
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