If you are just joining our story, feel free to start from the beginning, first blog post titled "The Beginning" on April 18, 2013.


I completed my internship year at Teen Mania in August of 1998.  God opened up an incredible opportunity for me to continue to stay there as a nanny for the following year.  It would also give me a mentor, and I really felt like this is where I needed to be. And I would be going back out on the road touring with the top Christian bands, this was so exciting for me!  My "friend" had also returned to Teen Mania, in a separate program, so once again, we were together.  Brian in the meantime had gone back home to continue his relationship with his girl. He would call from time to time to check on his "Frog," but always super friendly, and not out of the ordinary for Brian. 
For me the next six months would be a roller coaster ride.  I was back up under the Teen Mania relationship rules, but having waited over a year, I was frustrated and so was my friend.  In the end, I would make decisions that would break those rules.  It would show me exactly who I did not want to be, and who I did not want to be with.  Not only did I make terrible choices, but they would be exposed months later and I would have to leave Teen Mania, in a very public failure.  How could I have allowed myself to be so weak? I was humiliated, and angry, but most importantly, I was broken.  
I found myself in South Carolina, where my parents had just moved, I was in a new place, with no friends.  I spent weeks holed up in my room, letting my God hold me and restore me.  I didn't know where to go from that point.  I had already broken things off with my friend before the exposure, but the way it happened only confirmed I had to cut him out of my life.  It was difficult, but there was no option there.  
I did however have great friends that would call and check on me and encourage me.  That is so important when you're going through things.  I remember Brian calling and having to tell him everything that had happened.  He was so sweet, he wanted to know if I was okay, and then moved the conversation on to something else.  We never talked about it much after that, he still never focuses on my failures.  He knows how to highlight the good, I'm so blessed to have that in him.  At some point months before, he told me that he and his girl were going in different directions, I wasn't too surprised to hear it.  But it really didn't mean a lot to me then, I wasn't looking for a relationship, I needed to work through my situation.  Brian was being a genuine friend, he was making himself available to me, but he wasn't the only one...

I knew this particular post would be very hard to write, I don't like to look at failures, especially this one.  But this is a part of my story and if it had not happened and I don't know how different things would have been.  God was still in control even in my failures, and He's still in control of me and my failures now.  Whether they are public failures, failures between Brian and I, or failures that only God knows about, I still trust Him with my life.  I believe with all of my heart, that God knows we are going to fail, and He's just waiting for us to run to Him when we do.  He's the only one who can make it better, who can heal our hearts, who can pick us up and dust us off.   And still give me Brian, even when I felt like I didn't deserve him, that's my God! A failure doesn't mean you loose your worth, I am worth it!  YOU are worth it! 
Psalm 147:3 "He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds."

I'd love to hear from you, thank you for such wonderful feedback so far!
~Stacie

Click here to continue reading the next blog post entitled And so it begins...

If you are just joining our story, feel free to start from the beginning, first blog post titled "The Beginning" on April 18, 2013.



So I've been pouring over journals for hours, rereading the time at Teen Mania, when I met Brian, and the events that took place during that year and the year after that.  I've asked God to help me type through the next part of the story.  But before I move forward, I think it's important that you see just how amazing my God is.  I want to highlight some things, so reminisce with me for just a bit!  
When I decided to go to college directly after high school, I did so with Theater being my major.  I love the stage, it's apart of me, and that's the only thing I knew, so why not!  When I got there, I was out of my element, this wasn't high school drama class any more.  I felt sick being in those classes, the culture was different, I knew I couldn't be apart of it.  So when I decided that college and the timing was not for me, I was lost.  I felt like I was giving up on my dreams.  Fast forward a year, I find myself at Teen Mania, I came to work in the offices, or wherever else they needed me.  I heard about the drama auditions, but I decided not to try out, I was there to focus on God, not on myself.  My roommate asked me to go along with her to the auditions for moral support and ended up being pulled in.  I was chosen as one of two girls to be on team.  God put me there, and in that year I stood on 27 stages across this country (and Canada), and performed on average to 8 thousand people per weekend.  See what my God can do! 
During my internship I wrote monthly newsletters to my friends and family.  In my very last newsletter of my year I wrote, 
" I named this newsletter 'Hearts Desire' blindly at the beginning of the year, having no idea what God had in store for me.  A precious lady I admire and respect very much handed me a card the day I left for Teen Mania.  In closing she said, 'Stacie remember, God longs to give you the secret desires of your heart,' and I want you to know this past year He's done nothing but that.  His love is beyond my comprehension." 
God did so much that year, He put me on the road, that was a huge desire of my heart, but I didn't even know it until I was out there!!!  How cool is that, I wonder how many other ways He will fulfill desires that I don't even know exist yet!  I'm just getting started!  
Ok, so we've got the road and the stage, He also did so many little things, like Big Red gum and can openers that brought me to tears, sounds silly, but God cares so much about the little things, even gum!
And even now I look back and see Brian, my soulmate was apart of that year of my hearts desires.  God opened the door and ushered him into my life, allowing me to experience Brian as raw and real as Brian can be, and let me tell you, he can be real!  I had another memory flood back in and I have to share it with you!  It will take a second to set up so bear with me.  One of the many adventures during the internship was called the Peoples Retreat.  All of the interns participated and we were divided into groups of about 10.  Guess who was on my team, Brian Wilson!  There were tribal groups and missionary groups, we were in tents on the campus and the point was for the missionary groups to win over the tribal groups.  We were a tribal group, and to mix things up, they had us in a war with another tribal group.  During that very dramatic "war" (which included raw eggs being thrown), I was wounded, not really, it was just part of the script!  I had to be carried back to our camp, and guess who came and swooped me up!  Brian carried me about 5 minutes back to our camp site.  Brian was protecting me even then.  I just remember him being strong and me being very nervous, I can promise you, I'm not nervous when he swoops in now!  Silly memories, I love them!
Psalm 37:4 Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. 

So next post we'll continue on with our story,  my life took a very dramatic turn.  But you'll see how even in heartache and brokenness, God was still directing my steps!!

What are your desires, ask God to reveal His desires for your life, He has the very best in store for you!!
Don't forget to share my blog and I'd love to hear from you!
~Stacie

Click here to continue ready the next blog post entitled "Broken."

If you are just joining our story, feel free to start from the beginning, first blog post titled "The Beginning" on April 18, 2013.

Brian and I continued our friendship through the entire year at Teen Mania.  He was still focused on his girl back home and I was focused on my "friend."  There are so many things that I remember that are so ironic now.  For Thanksgiving that year, a friend on our team invited those who were not going to their home states to spend the holiday with her and her family in Texas.  I went along with Brian and my friend.  The four of us were together for about 4 days and had a really great time.  It's just crazy to think Brian was there and I was googly eyed for someone else.  My friend and I had every intension of taking it further after the internship was up, which for him was half a year sooner than me, because he started the internship 6 months before I did.  So after he was no longer there in Texas, he would call Brian and tell him to bring me a "special delivery."  So Brian would come find me and tell me he had a "special delivery" for me.  Well, that "special delivery" was a hug!  So Brian would bring me "special deliveries" all the time!  Oh the irony!  
One time I rode in the truck with Brian as his keep awake for 6 hours, just the two of us.  We talked the whole time!  Brian taught me how to recognize different semi trucks, Mac, Kenworth, Volvo, Freightliner... sounds silly, but it was just fun!  I did ask him specifically when he would be proposing to his girl, and for some reason, he hesitated.  I remember thinking to myself, "he's not going to marry her." 
 And maybe one of the best memories I have of Brian was in Seattle, Washington.  I was in my drama room working on a devotion,  Brian came in and knelt down at the table beside where I was sitting.  I was so excited about what God had just shown me in the Bible and I was sharing it with Brian.  At some point I looked down at him and he was looking at me like he was awe struck.  I stopped mid sentence, and gave him a look of confusion.  He quietly said, "Frog, if I don't marry "her" and you don't marry "him", I'm marring you," and he got up and walked out.  I sat there almost shaking, it had literally taken my breath away.  So I ran and found my closest friend and frantically told her what had just happened, she laughed and calmed me down!  I brushed it off as Brian just being Brian!  He remembers that day too, like it was yesterday!  
Toward the end of our year, we all went on missions trips.  We would be in our separate countries for a month and then come back to finish up the last few weeks of our internship.  I headed to India and Brian was off to Russia.  The night everyone loaded the buses, I had to jump off last minute for something.  About four buses down, Brian jumped off his bus too, he yelled down "Frog!!"  We met for a last minute hug and we were off.  I don't know why I remember that so much, but I think it was such a sweet moment.  I don't even remember our last goodbye at the end of our year.  Brian would go back home to Albany Georgia, and I would stay at Teen Mania to be a nanny.  And that would be it... so I thought. 

I love seeing how God's plans are good and perfect.  He writes the best love stories. And reading back over this makes me think of that 6 hour ride alone with Brian in that truck.  I love him so much, I love how he kept our conversations pure and had such respect for me.  He has a Godly character that is undeniable.  Character is who you are, and can be developed, but ladies, don't think that you can develop it in someone.  It needs to be something that they have already developed BEFORE you begin a relationship.  You might need to back off and let God work before you come in the picture.  Trust me, it is worth the wait!! 
" Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord." Psalm 27:14

I would love your feedback!!  Are you waiting on something?  I'd love to hear from you!!
~Stacie

Click here to continue reading next post entitled "Hearts Desire."

If you are just joining our story, feel free to start from the beginning, first blog post titled "The Beginning" on April 18, 2013.


After meeting my new team members, Brian included, my year began. The memories I have of Brian during that time are really good.  We had a connection from the beginning, but not like you think.  I assumed back then, it was because we were the only two from Georgia.  He was very protective of me, I loved that.  Within the first couple of weeks, he had given me a nickname that would stay with me for a long time.  It was during drama and band rehearsals, I was cold and was sitting in a chair, my feet were also up on the chair and I was hugging my knees.  Brian walked over and said, "I'm going to call you 'Frog.'"  And so he did, from that point on my name to him was Frog.  He even introduced me to others that way, and many people knew me as Frog!  But I wasn't the only one with a nickname, Brian gave lots of people nicknames, it's just how he is!  I still remember being in a large venue and him yelling "Frog!!!" as I ran through during set up or tear down!    
I think knowing that Brian had a girl back home, made it so easy to be friends.  In my mind he was already engaged, and as much as he talked about her and how he was going to propose, everyone knew it.  That's why we were able to become such good friends, without anything weird.  We even had conversations during the year about the proposal, I would try and help him come up with ideas of how he could propose to her!  I helped him pick out cards for her, truck stop cards!  We knew truck stops backwards and forwards and we both loved it!  I remember helping him buy her clothes for a birthday present, he's always had such good taste.  
It was easy with Brian, just being me, and honestly with a lot of the guys on our team.  We had such an incredible mix of people.  There were rules about not dating during our internship year, so that we would be fully focused.  And even though Brian was very open about his girl back home, they weren't "dating" during this time, but she had his heart, and in the event of full disclosure =), someone else on our team had mine.  We both were focused in other directions, so our friendship was nothing more than that, a friendship. 
I remember, they used to teach us, that you needed to be friends with your spouse long before you are ever anything else.  I couldn't understand that!  How could I just be friends with someone that I felt was my soulmate?  I mean, I had already waited FOREVER, I was like, 19!!!  I know now that God was so in control of our relationship from the very beginning!  It started in such a way that I had to keep my hands out of it.  I really was oblivious that Brian was my husband and he was standing right in front of me!   
All the while I was looking for "him" in someone else.  What else is standing right in front of me, and you, that God has for us?  Maybe it's a timing thing, like for Brian and I, maybe we're focused on other things so much that we're missing what God wants to do now.  God showed me at the beginning of this year, that this would be the year of the "Great Reveal" for me.  I'm not sure exactly what that means, but I'm excited for whatever God wants to show me!  I pray the same for you, God reveal yourself to this reader, draw back the curtain for a breath taking reveal!  Whether it be relationships, direction, provision, healing, hope or His love, bring the revelation!

I would love your positive feedback, and don't forget to share me with your friends! 


Click here to continue reading next blog post entitled "Ironic."   

The beginning seems so long ago, how far back do I need to go to be at the "beginning?"  Well, I know that when I was a little girl, I used to daydream all the time about the man that I would marry.  The older I got, I wrote in my journal about him and I even wrote him letters.  I knew the moment he walked in the room I would "know" it was him.  He would be sooo grand that the angels would sing and light would shine down from the heavens!  So maybe it didn't EXACTLY happen that way! As a matter of fact, I found out years after marrying Brian that we were both at the same youth conference when I was 14 and he was 15.  Keep in mind that he grew up in Albany Georgia and I was living at the time in Titusville Florida!  God has a funny sense of humor, he had us both under the same roof for an entire weekend!  But His timing is perfect and had I met Brian back then, I may have run the other way!! (those were his words, not mine, although I may agree with him!!)
So fast forward five years, I had attempted college and flopped right after high school, pulling out of classes only weeks after they started.  I ended up back in my small south Georgia town working the drive through at Wendy's wondering how in the world my prince would find me.  I trusted God, but I couldn't see past the frosty machine to know what He was about to do. But everything changed in one weekend.  A group showed up in my town from Teen Mania Ministries, a missions organization that I had traveled with years earlier.  During that weekend, I learned more about their internship program.  I knew immediately it was for me.  And a long story short, I arrived on their campus in August of 1997, in Garden Valley, TX, to give God a year of my life and search for His direction.  
So where does Brian come in?  Well, if I remember correctly, every time he entered any room, everyone knew it!  Brian had also come to the internship that same year along with 250 others.  He was apart of the "ministry team," a group that traveled the country and put on the youth conventions, Acquire The Fire.  He was the drummer.  I had not met him directly, but he and his buddy's were loud and fun and I wanted to know them!  I remember the first time I noticed him was in the cafeteria.  He was telling someone ahead of me in line that he was from Georgia, he was about as redneck as they come!  I was from Georgia too, but too shy to speak up.  Another long story short, I ended up on the ministry team also, to be apart of the drama team.  And on September 2, 1997, I stood in a small office area and was one by one introduced to the other 23 team members who I would share an entire year with.  We would travel the country, live on a tour bus, have early mornings and late nights.  We would grow in God together and watch thousands of teens get their lives changed, we would become the best of friends, and fight!  This was going to be an adventure of a lifetime for sure!  I remember the moment I met Brian, he was very handsome, no doubt.  The only thing I remember thinking was how you could see a tiny bit of red in his brown curly hair.  So did I "know" at that point?  Did the heavens part and the angels sing?  Did light shine down on him from up above?  Let's see...what Brian did when I met him will forever be etched in my mind.  He reached around to his wallet to show me a picture of his girl back home, the one he planned on proposing to as soon as the year was up.  He was very proud of her.  So....to answer those questions.....NO!  He was just Brian.  Although there was no fireworks, to this day, he can describe exactly what I wore that day we met in the office.....very observant, wouldn't you say! =)

Click here to continue reading... next blog post entitled "Frog."